Jokes

stayer

Unfaithful Hubby

Rita was standing vigil over her husband's deathbed. As she held his hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his face, and roused him from his slumber.

He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling," he whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."

But he was insistent. "Rita," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Rita. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Rita. I slept with your sister, your best friend and your mother."

Rita mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now dear, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said.

"Now you be still, and let the poison work."
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stayer

Unfaithful

A co-worker told George that George’s wife was being unfaithful
everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with George’s best friend.
Worried and hurt, George ran home at 1:30 to see if this was
true.

He came back to the office contented and relieved.

His co-worker asked him how it went.

"Look," said George. "Don’t start such terrible rumors! That
guy isn’t my best friend...I don’t even know him."
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stayer

Shop Lifting by a wife

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she
was hungry.The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail then."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, "What is it?"

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."
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